Art

"You have my heART" Pencil and Ink
8" X 10" - Available
Only 20 prints available

This is a self portrait and the
first piece of my new life in art.
I had lost my passion for about 12
years before having participated in
the Landmark Forum. Also just
before the Landmark Forum, I met a
woman that I now know as the first
of 7 muses. Cameo inspired me in a
way I hadn't felt in years and
possibly ever in my life. I saw her
and I saw art. I was intimidated by
the power this woman had on my
imagination so I pushed her away
not knowing the real reason why. In
my desperation and in an attempt to
get her back in my life... I
created this piece in honor of who
she is to me. The spark that
started up my passion. Cameo is the
girl who has my ART.

"Mohawk Protecting Angel"
Pencil, Ink & Oil
8" X 10" Not Available

I put a lot of time into being
afraid of this piece. The process I
went through in completing this
portrait is what had me get that I
am deeply in love and I didn't want
to touch your face. I was afraid of
ruining this piece with whatever I
would add to it. After all, you’re
perfect. Knowing you exactly the
way you are without adding anything
is what had me fall in love with
you. I got that my relationship to
the creation of this piece is
parallel to the creation of my
relationship to you... You’re in my
life but "I can't touch you". I
stunted my imagination for this
piece and I expressed exactly what
was there for me. I brought life to
what I remember about you the first
time I saw you, from a distance, in
the dim room... before you
disappeared into the crowd. Before
I knew you and so powerfully looked
for, and found you the next day.
You represent the power I have as a
human being and the fear I have of
possessing that power. You are my
muse, my angel, my expression of
art since I got my expression. You
are a mirror of me... the darkness
and the light. The twisted and
tangled brilliance that depicts a
subtle torture of how I’ve kept you
behind my stories of me and why I
can’t or shouldn’t have you. The
roots represent me. The roots also
represent you and the views you
have inherited. I am you and you
are me. You bring out the best in
me. You are the space of profound
love and clarity. I resist you. I
carefully embrace everything that
is you. I'm so protective of you
and you protect me. I've found
freedom in sharing this. I embrace
the torture and suffering I bring
my self for the sake of art. This
would not be beautiful without the
pain I lived in while I created who
you “are” for me and still keeping
in mind who you are for you. There
are worlds in this piece and some I
have yet to see myself...

"Alice in Chains" Ballpoint Pen
8" X 10" - Available

"Proverbs connect women and poison in
several ways, and women are often
compared to animals that produce
venom, such as scorpions, snakes and
wasps. In some African proverbs women
are explicitly referred to as
professional and knowledgeable
poisoners"... Girls and snakes murder
with their mouth (Somali). The most
venomous is a woman's heart (Thai).
There is no such poison in the green
snake's mouth, or the hornet's sting,
as in a woman's heart (Chinese). Trust
in a woman is like poison to your
stomach (Arabic- Jewish, Yemen).
Between women the venom is the
greatest (Danish). Venom is the doing
of woman (English/ UK)... Sadly, this
view of women is still very real for a
lot of people today, including other
women. Because it's so much easier to
recycle words and adopt other people's
already existing opinions, than it is
to come up with something new... we
end up creating a reality that we
don't really want. People have to
prove themselves not to be what
hundreds of years of stories have
already chained them down to be. We
stood no chance at being anything
else, this is the future we live into
because someone years ago said so, and
got others to agree with him. That's
all it takes to have something be
"real/ true". It's how many people you
can get to agree with you. It must be
real then, right?

"UnderWoman" Pencil and Ink
8" X 11" SOLD - Prints Available

I created UnderWoman in 1998 when
I realized that I had a Superhero
complex so, I decided to have fun
with my self image. Her suit is
actually indestructible in a usual
battle, but this particular battle
you see her in, is against the
resignation of the world. It's
taking everything she has and
still only shows struggle on her
clothing, not to her body or
being. She doesn't fight villains
like the other superheroes, she
goes right to the source. UW has
chameleon abilities and can speak
to animals. Her wings aren't
cracked. What you see is energy,
but since her wings are so white
and pure, the energy occurs as a
darker color. She is on fire
inspiring and possesses great
compassion. She has super
listening abilities. All the red
in this picture represents love
and passion. The darkness is
trying to survive and penetrate
her internal beauty...
but UnderWoman is impervious!

"How's Life?" Pencil, Pen, Oil, Ink
8"X11" -Available

This piece was originally a concept
for a "rebirth" themed show. the
girl is being given a new chance at
life and she's resisting it.
Bringing along with her, everything
from her past. In her mind, her
past won't let go of her and there
is no hope for her. Where she comes
from, who she is and knows herself
to be... will not set her free or
allow for anything new to occur.
While life, hope and new beginnings
surround her, she is constrained by
her past, her roots, her reality.
So what's possible in life? How's
life going to be for her if she
can't let go of things that
happened to her that she had no
control over? If she can't forgive
herself for not being strong
enough, good enough, fast enough,
smart enough... to have prevented
those events from happening...?

"Rebirth" Pencil & Oil
Handmade Frame
11"X14" -Available

This piece is very true to life
for the model I used. Yana. In my
interview with her, I learned a
lot about her life, her
experiences, her past and her
present. She is an amazing human
being with a beautiful soul. In
this piece I have a portrait from
her past, without color, in the
darkness as if it's dying off
while a new Yana is being reborn.
The picture from the past is an
old engagement photo from a
relationship that never made it
to the wedding day....

Yana is now in a new
relationship, a new life, being a
brand new person. Full of life,
full of color... and though she
is connected to her past, it's
her story... it doesn't determine
who she is now or how she shows
up in her present relationships.
She is reborn....

"Unconditional" Pencil & Oil On
Paper
Handmade Frame
11"X14" - Available

This is a self portrait. I didn't
know how to title this image until
my last show. I've just had it as
"true love", but that title didn't
capture what I am trying to
portray. This piece is of myself
and my youngest niece Shayli. What
I love about this piece is the
contrast between her and I. She's
a little pink thing, tiny,
delicate, soft... while I am more
of a warrior ;)... hard, rough...
you get the point. The message is
simply that there are no
conditions for this love. It
doesn't have to look a certain
way, it doesn't have to fit a
mold. Right now she has no idea
what my name is, she doesn't care
what I look like, she doesn't even
know that she loves me... all
there is for her is a girl that
makes her smile when she is
around. It is absolutely true love
for me. I am looking into a mirror
here in the sense that when I see
her, I see the love I have learned
to have for others through her.
Unconditional and pure...

"World Boy" Mixed Medium - On Paper
8"X10" - SOLD

This boy has just been given the
world. Figuratively, when we say
that, it's a beautiful sentiment.
"I'd give you the world if I
could" is a really sweet thing to
hear. Do you actually think about
everything that comes with the
beauty of the world? The sadness,
the fighting, the struggle, the
hate, the violence, the power
trips, the hunger, the gluttony,
the deceit, rape, murder, abuse,
the immense lack of human
connection... is this really a
world you want to give someone? Is
this how we are going to leave the
world for our kids? This boy is 2
years old and he has no choice of
the world he is born into or is
raised in. We didn't have a choice
either. Yet we are totally
responsible for allowing it to
stay this way. Every single human
being has the power to make a
difference in the world. This boy
doesn't know what to do with the
world he is given. He's not sure
he even wants to hold onto it. I
know the kind of world I want to
give this boy and I will give my
life to giving him a world he will
actually embrace and gladly give
to his own children. What kind of
world are you giving him?

"Lady Papa" Mechanical Pencil
8"X10" - Available

This is a young girl with a heart of
gold and an old soul. Papa found me
on-line through a mutual friend and
I fell in love with her face
immediately. She's got so much
character in her face and the more I
learned about her, the more
beautiful her face became to me.
Papa has one of those faces I became
obsessed with drawing when I first
became passionate about doing
portraits. In this piece I am
bringing together 3 women that had a
huge impact on my art and who I knew
myself to be in my teen and early
adult years. 1- The ideal or fantasy
woman for me at that time. Boyish in
a way, yet still very feminine,
beautiful and sexy. If I could dream
her up, this is what she would have
looked like. 2- Angelina Jolie.
Angie actually saved me from a lot
of pain in my obsessing with her. I
knew she wouldn't hurt me so it was
safe to give her all that love. 3-
Myself. I've come to learn that
everything I love about other people
is what I love about myself. I've
learned that every piece, no matter
who and what I draw, is a self
portrait. You get me in every way...

"Tiny Dragon" Mechanical Pencil
Not Available

Boy do I put a lot of love into my
work...
The woman in this piece was my first big
breakthrough in love. With her I
discovered: The story I lived in that
"I'll never be good at love". My hidden
agenda to prove "you will leave me just
like everyone else". My unanswerable
question "when are you going to leave
me?", and she was the first person to
begin the opening of my mind. This was
drawn when I was in a very vulnerable
state. I am the Dragon. It was the first
time I had felt small after 5 months of
being bigger than any circumstance. It
was also my first attempt at love since
August 2007. I did prove she would
leave.. and it was the hardest, most
painful loss I've had to recover from.
Because I knew the quality of human being
that Jaime is. Imagine living a life in
which your only view of people was that
they are going to leave you... and you
never knew that. Imagine the freedom you
would gain in discovering that, no matter
what the cost... the gain is so much
greater. What you lose is in the past and
you have a whole new world to build upon
when that blinding view of people is out
of your future.

"Empty and Meaningless" Pencil
8"X10" - Available

While this piece holds no actual
meaning for me, as far as the
content... it does represent a lot
for me in what I am capable of doing.
I do know the girl. We used to work
together. It was a baby picture. The
original, "karen", was created in
1997. It was a piece I was never
happy with because of the tape
residue on Karen's eye. It was a
distraction and I just kept the piece
in hiding for years. I brought it
back out for my first show, this
year. I looked at it and thought,
"something needs to happen with
this". So, I traced the tape pieces
and added a few more for kicks. I
added more detail and darkened it
some. I couldn't think of a single
thing it could mean and that's when
it hit me... "Empty and Meaningless".
It doesn't mean anything!! To hear
the many different interpretations of
where other people take it's meaning,
has been amazing and gives me insight
into their lives, their pasts, their
view of life. For me, it simply
represents how I can create something
that works out of a mistake.

"Mechelle" Mechanical Pencil
Not Availabe

This is Mechelle. I was crazy in
love with this girl, for about 5
years. At one point suicidal even.
She was my first love and someone I
had a very hard time letting go of.
She was a big "issue" while I was
married because my wife could tell I
wasn't over losing her. I had it
that I had nothing left to give
because I gave it all to her, so I
never loved my wife nearly as much
as I loved Mechelle. This piece was
drawn right after Mechelle and I
broke up. There is so much emotion
that went into drawing this
portrait. So much love, desperation,
defeat, self destruction, and pain.
3 months later, I got this portrait
tattooed on my right ribcage,
symbolizing the last time I would
ever feel pain over her, and that
she would be with me forever. It's
one of my favorite pieces and
stories from the past.

"Broken Girl" Mechanical Pencil
5"X 8" - Available

This piece was originally created in 1996
for my high school newspaper. It was to go
along with a poem that I think I wrote
anonymously. It was a self portrait but I
didn't want anyone to know it was me so it
doesn't look like me. There are 10 strings
that each represent something in my life
that was breaking my heart and trying to
pull me apart. There are 4 additional
strings that represent the things that kept
me together and strong. Those were: God, my
family, my friends and there is one string
on the bottom that is both breaking my
heart and holding it together. It's not
supposed to be obvious, but that represents
my obsession at the time. Cyndi. I could
have told you exactly what each of the 10
strings were back in '96. I don't remember
now. What made me want to update it
recently?... the fingers... my fingers. I
was responsible the entire time for the
pain and suffering. All I did was give the
strings a name so that I was no longer
responsible and could live as a victim to
circumstance.

"For the Hell in me" Pencil
8"X 11" - Available

I was sitting in the bedroom with my
ex wife when the image came to me. I
had a lot of built up resentment
toward her, about 2 years worth,
because of all I withheld in that
relationship. She became so ugly to
me... a monster. We were even "at
peace" when I drew this. But this
was the picture I always had of her.
She was sweet and kind and even
gentle with me... and the beast was
all I could see. This was my outlet,
along with getting everyone in my
life to agree with me that she
wasn't as nice as she appears on the
outside. I wanted everyone to see
the ugliness I saw so that I could
be right about her. I painted myself
as the victim of her rage and anger
issues. I made myself look innocent
when I never communicated anything
with her. I wouldn't speak for days
and left her so alone in the
relationship. so, look again... who
was the real monster? Things aren't
always as they appear kids

"The Reasons" Pencil, Ink & Oil
8"X10" - Available
Handmade Frame

This is a portrait of Cameo. My first
muse. I started this piece back in
August '07, when she and I were on good
terms. I sent her a sketch of what it
was starting to look like and she
displayed it in anger, after the good
terms were off, on her profile page. I
went through several spaces in that
relationship and I resisted completing
the drawing. I did not want to complete
it because it was connected to a person
attached to a lot of resentment. It
didn't have the same meaning anymore
and... then I got that I was being the
same. I resented her for being with her
pain, for living her life the way she
chose to live her life. I resented her
form of expression... so I gave it up
and continued with the piece. I spent 2
days falling back in love with her
without considering her story about me.
When I thought I was done, I looked and
felt something was missing. The picture
itself wasn't telling the story of what
it represents to me. So, I expressed it
by simply writing the reasons I chose
to continue. I don't need a reason to
express or feel love toward another
human being. I just am love...

"Wings" Mechanical Pencil
Not Available

This is Mechelle. Who she is to me is
someone that could take over the
world if she wanted to. She can and
does get everything she wants. She's
an incredibly talented musician and a
bit of a genius. To me, she is
powerful, she is brilliant, she's
beautiful and she can fly. She has a
dark/ twisted sense of humor, which
is why I fell in love with her when I
did, and I don't know anyone with the
kind of passion this girl has.
Passion for life, love and laughter.
Passion in every form of her
expression. There ain't a single
thing this girl does without passion.
Can you see it?